In November 2022 I quit my successful career in Human Resources. I’ve experienced two solid months without a typical W2 job. While I’m still processing my thoughts, I wanted to share what I learned since I quit my successful 9-5.
Some parts of the process have felt as I expected while other parts have surprised me.
To hear about my career journey and how I decided to quit after I took a leave of absence and worked part-time, click here.
All the Time in the World, Right?
Before I quit I felt like I didn’t have enough time to do things. I was in a constant battle to work, move my body, cover the household chores, prepare and fix meals, enjoy down time, spend time with my husband, family and friends, get enough sleep, plan travel, etc. If I spent time in one area, another suffered. And of course, what did I prioritize above all else? Work.
When I quit I anticipated feeling an abundance of time to do all the things. And it’s true, I do feel like I have more time now. Surprisingly, I have not experienced the over-abundance of time I anticipated.
Why is this?
Now I’m able to use the time I have each day to do the things I enjoy, which means I spend more time than I did in the past. For example, when I worked I was lucky to get in a 45-60 minute workout session several times a week. Now I find myself taking long walks with our pup, or Peloton classes, and then ending with a strength training session, yoga, stretching, etc. Instead of spending an hour, I’m now spending up to 2 hours in some cases.
Another example is the blog, which I now consider my “work.” Time constraints existed in my consulting job because certain projects and clients had X hours allocated per week. This meant I knew approximately how many hours I’d work each week. When it comes to creating content I have learned writing takes the time it takes. I have always enjoyed writing, but it is a muscle I haven’t flexed to such a degree, ever. I have learned I need a big buffer of time to create my weekly blog posts.
The beauty here though is ultimately I get to decide where I allocate my time.
Which leads me to the next thing I learned since I quit my successful 9-5…
It’s All on Me
Eliminating the external weight of work and the associated obligations is unbelievably freeing.
Now I have (pretty much) full autonomy over my time and what I accomplish. With this comes great responsibility though.
Let me be clear: I’m unbelievably privileged and blessed my husband is still working and we have the financial ability to forego the income a job would provide (thanks to our hard work and pursuit of Financial Independence).
My career came with a lot of pressure and high expectations to do great work, as well as stick to certain structure and routines. Now it’s up to me to create the right amount of pressure and routine to figure out what’s next. As of right now this feels refreshing, exciting, and empowering.
It’s scary, too. Now I must forge the path. No one is telling me what to do, guiding me, showing me options. I’m trusting my gut and intuition to point me in the right direction based on what feels right.
Meanwhile, my logical brain says, “Get a normal job” because I’m scared of failure. Yup, that feeling is still there.
Btw, check back with me in a couple months to see if I’m completely lost in a dark forest by way of doing what “feels right…”
Living into My Values
One thing I have learned since I quit is whatever I do next must be in alignment with my values.
During my Leave of Absence last April I did a values exercise. In December we went through the Extraordinary Life course, which involved another values assessment. Side note: Brene Brown has a great list of values to work from.
What’s my top value? Freedom. Upon reflection, this actually makes a lot of sense. My career didn’t give me the freedom I want, which meant I lived out of alignment with my top value for quite some time. It’s no surprise I felt so disconnected with the work and miserable towards the end.
Now I lean into freedom as I get up each morning and decide where the day will take me. I lean into freedom by choosing to see if I can make it on my own through this blog, and project work through our LLC.
It feels good to live in alignment with my values, at least for now!
Releasing an Identity
Since I quit my successful 9-5 I’ve learned how much my identity was wrapped up in my career as a Human Resources professional.
I realized I took the Leave of Absence and went down to part-time because I wasn’t ready to release that part of my identity. If you read last week’s post you’ll understand the process took me quite a bit of time before I was ready to rip the band-aid off. Releasing a chunk of your identity is scary and hard.
There is so much more to say regarding identity and career, but I don’t quite have the words yet to do the topic justice. But, look for this in a future blog post!
As time progresses I know there will be more “ah-ha” moments.
For those of you who have quit your job or retired, I’m interested to hear what you learned–let us know in the comments!
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Congratulations on quitting your 9-to-5! And thank you for sharing your feelings along the journey.
I quit my “normal” job in June 2021 and it had been an incredible journey. I first dived into helping my wife with her photography business, but then I realized about a year later that I had merely replaced my corporate job with a non-corporate job. It took me awhile to finally give myself the space to focus on true self-care. For me, this meant devoting most of my time toward spiritual, mental, and physical wellbeing. Things I never really addressed while I was in a full time job. The results have been transformational.
Please keep posting regularly. You are a terrific writer and I’ve really enjoyed your blog posts so far. I can’t wait to hear about how the next phase of your life journey unfolds.
Thanks for your comment! You are too kind. I’m glad you have found the space to focus on true self-care. It’s fascinating how our priorities can shift if we make space for the shift to happen!
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I too was miserable with my corporate job towards the end which required a plane ride to commute to work every other week! Like you, my identity was wrapped up with what I did for pay checks. I was in upper management for a multi billion dollar corporation and I was afraid of losing that identity. It was scary at first because I wasn’t sure how I felt about myself…perhaps my self worth. Since retirement, I have learned to appreciate small pleasures in life. Filling my days with those small pleasures make me truly happy; appreciate how precious life is; and give me new meaning to my life and permission to myself that it is OK.
You mentioned above that you are afraid of failure. Have you defined what “failure” means in your new life? We no longer use that term. We don’t know what that means.
Thanks for your insightful comments! Wow, I cannot imagine traveling every other week for work via plane! It is interesting now that I don’t have a “typical job” I think about my self-worth much more. On the surface it’s easy to see your self-worth when you are making good money, but when you dig deeper you realize money isn’t everything. Needless to say going through the process of quitting my job and releasing that identity have caused me to ask myself hard questions that are worth pondering.
And yes, somehow I still feel I can “fail” at not having a job! More like I’m a failure because I’m not living up to other people’s expectations because I’m not working. Ridiculous, right?! When I think about failure, it’s definitely a social construct. I’m on my way to not knowing what “failure” means but I’ve still got a ways to go. 🙂