Reflecting on the One Year Anniversary of Quitting My Career

Nearly one year ago today I met up with my boss to return my laptop and all my company belongings.

After years of struggling to keep my head in the game in my HR consulting role, I finally decided to trust my intuition. HR was no longer where I belonged. I was both scared and excited when I submitted my resignation a couple weeks earlier.

Part of me said, How can you do this?!

While another part of me said, Finally!

I spent over 15 years in Human Resources climbing career ladders, participating in leadership programs, and trying to make workplaces a more supportive and enjoyable place on a day-to-day basis. It was hard work–work that mostly flew under the radar.

I gave my all to make my career for me, not wanting to “throw away” my 15 years of experience, my Masters degree in HR, and the professional reputation I built. This is text-book sunk cost fallacy, btw.

What did I try?

I transitioned out of a non-profit leadership role to an individual contributor role as a consultant. For a time, that re-energized me. Eventually though burnout returned.

I took a 60-day leave of absence, hoping that would give me the break I desperately wanted. It only gave me the taste of what could be if I let go of my career.

I returned on a very part-time basis, hoping that would suffice, giving me the space I needed while still engaged in the work. But, I couldn’t do it, despite my efforts.

Here I am, one year later…

What’s my status? Am I itching to go back to work? Do I regret leaving HR? Is life perfect now? What do I fill my time with? Am I making any money? Will I work again? Do I have things “figured out?”

My Thoughts One Year Later

Normally I try to keep things “buttoned up” with my writing style. Today let’s try more stream of conscious…

• I don’t have things figured out. In fact, quitting my career actually left me with more questions than answers. Some that come to mind: What is my purpose? What do I want to do? Do I need to make money? Do I want to make money? How can we live our best lives now?
  
  
• I don’t regret quitting for a second. Never have I thought, “I wish I could go back,” or, “I should have kept trying to make it work.” Quitting was the right decision, and I should have quit earlier than I did.
  
  
• When you remove a piece of your life that took up at least one quarter of your weekly hours (including time spent doing the work, preparing for work, thinking about work, etc.), you get a ton of space back. I desperately felt I needed and wanted that space. Over the past year I reveled in the space, and I am unbelievably grateful for the opportunity to enjoy it.
  
  
• I feel disappointed that one year later I don’t have life more figured out than I do.
  
  
• Remnants of productivity mindset still plague me on a regular basis. I’m still unraveling my value/worth from my productivity. When you stop working you will know if your internal worth is tied to productivity. How? You will seek out other ways, any way, to be productive to prove your worth to yourself and/or others.
  
  
• I’m also unraveling my value/worth from making income. I made a teeny-tiny amount of income from small consulting projects earlier this year, but then the projects dried up. It’s no secret quitting my job is because of progress in our journey to financial independence. But man, bringing in good money every two weeks made me feel important, like my worth as a human was verified. Cultural messages, they work….
  
  
• Life is not perfect. I still have bad days. Tons of bad days, in fact. Luckily I did not expect life to be free of bad days after leaving my career.
  
  
• I’ve really come to terms with how responsible I am for me: what I do, how I feel, how I operate in this world, how and what I contribute, my happiness, etc. The onus is all on me. The irony is the responsibility always was mine, but leaving my job really highlighted this fact for me. When I have a bad day now I can’t blame my job. Instead I’m forced to dig deeper and ask why I’m feeling out of sorts. Do I need rest, a change of pace, more or less of something I’m working on, maybe just the weather bringing me down, etc. This is all about locus of control, and I have an even stronger internal locus of control after quitting.
  
  
• I’m proud of the habits I’ve built around moving my body in a way that is enjoyable. Call it exercise, call it working out, whatever you want to call it… I walk (a ton!), we often hike (hard hikes!) a lot while we travel, I’ve done much more strength training over the past year, and I make stretching a priority. Instead of approaching exercise as a punishment, I now want to walk the dog, lift heavy things, etc. because it makes me feel good. I have transformed my relationship with moving my body, and I’m so grateful for the progress. In the words of Jess Sims (IYKYK), celebrate and then get back to work!
  
  
• I don’t think I’ll ever go back to regular, W-2 employment. This shouldn’t surprise anyone. Now, don’t get me wrong… I will go get a job in a second if that is what I need to do. If, however, our FI journey progresses even close to how we anticipate it will, I shouldn’t need to do that. And yes I am privileged to say this.
  
  
• I’m ready for what is to come. Having an entire year of space was an invaluable gift, and I’m ready for what’s around the corner. I don’t quite know what that is yet. I feel like I’m progressing towards knowing though and it feels exciting.
  

Related Blog Posts:

• Reflecting on the Six-Month Mark of Quitting My Job
• I Decided It Was Time To Quit My Successful 9-5
• How Small Life Experiments Can Unlock Change