Do you trust your intuition when it comes to decision making? Shocker–not every choice we make must be rooted in logic after extensive weighing of pros and cons!
In fact, maybe intuition can be the best guide. Maybe we’d all feel more satisfied with decisions if we trusted our intuition.
I’ve got two personal stories for you today to illustrate why intuition can be the best guide.
Intuition: "The ability to know something by using your feelings rather than considering the facts," or "An idea or a strong feeling that something is true although you cannot explain why." - Oxford Dictionary
A Couple Personal Stories
#1: Because “I Want To” is Enough
Last week I grabbed coffee with a friend who’s currently on a two-month sabbatical from work. My friend’s situation had familiar notes to my own before I took a leave of absence (LOA) last year: misaligned with the company’s direction, generally unhappy at work, topped off with challenging personal dynamics impacting mental health. I never take for granted how much we can learn from one another’s experiences, so I was happy to share my insights from the leave of absence/sabbatical I took.
As I listened to my friend discuss her relationship and feelings towards her employer and position, I remembered my own feelings towards my employer prior to taking 60-days off work. I was angry about the way the company implemented changes over the last several years, as well as the lack of clear communication about the changes. I had high standards and expectations when it came to communication given our line of work (Human Resources), and the company was not meeting those expectations.
During that time, I quickly criticized any change or move the company made. I kept a strict tally of all the injustices I felt occurred, big or small. Keep in mind I was also struggling with my gut/intuition telling me I didn’t want to work in Human Resources anymore.
Looking back at it, I was unreasonably angry and critical, and couldn’t let anything go.
I generally describe my demeanor as reasonable and level-headed, and I’m not quick to anger (okay so maybe fact check this with my husband)…
So, why was I harboring such anger, resentment, and criticism towards my employer?
The answer is quite simple.
Despite my gut telling me I wanted space from my work in HR, my logical brain required a tangible, justified reason to take a break or quit my job. Simply wanting a break was not “good enough.” I went through extensive, complicated mental gymnastics to make the company the enemy to justify wanting to take a break (or quit).
And it wasn’t just me I was thinking about. I figured if he and other family knew how horrible the company was treating me, taking a break would make sense. In my mind, telling others “I want to take a break” wasn’t a good enough, justified reason.
As you can imagine, the mental gymnastics required a lot of energy. Looking back, it was exhausting!
What I learned
Going through and reflecting on this situation leading up to my LOA was really eye-opening for me.
I was shocked to realize how much energy I wasted trying to prove over and over again the company actions justified me taking a break from work.
Why wasn’t my gut feeling, “I want to,” reason enough for me to take a break?
I felt I needed external sources to validate my feelings. In this case, I needed the “bad” work environment to validate my intuition. In our culture we’re often rewarded for making decisions based on thorough analysis. As a result we put a lot of weight or value on external sources: money, prestige/position, must fill an immediate need, the pros outweigh the cons, etc.
We assume analysis based on external sources will yield the most rational, optimized, logical outcome, or, the best outcome. Sometimes this is true, but not always.
How often do you tap into your gut feeling or intuition when you’re trying to make a decision? Many of us were taught we can’t trust our intuition. Feelings aren’t rationale, so they say. That’s not entirely wrong.
However, there are situations where we need to step back, and trust our intuition. Especially when it’s been yelling at us, for years!
#2: Logic & Reason Are No Substitute for Intuition
Six+ years ago, we decided to buy a different home that better suited our needs. We were making good money, and were willing to shell it out to get what we wanted: a three-car garage (he’s a car guy), a nice yard we could fence in, a luxurious kitchen I could cook in, with all the upgrades, in a perfect location. We searched with our realtor, met with builders, looked at land for sale, looked at options to flip a house, etc.
This went on for quite some time; years. Finally, we found a house–newly built, checked all of the boxes, and an unbelievable price. On paper, it was the logical, obvious choice. We put in an offer and quickly went under contract.
As soon as we were under contract, he started to feel terrible about the decision. This was ironic because he had been pushing hard to find the right place, convinced it was time for us to move. Since it checked all the boxes, why the sudden reservation?
At first we thought his unease was just the enormity of looking for so long and finally finding something. It’s natural to feel scared and doubt such a big decision.
However, his intuition only intensified, and started to bridge on panic. He did not want to buy the house. I was just relieved he finally took a moment to check in with his feelings. After our long journey of searching, ironically my intuition said we were not ready to buy.
Per protocols, we scheduled the home inspection and received the report. After much reflection and to our realtor’s absolute horror, we explained this house wasn’t the right move for us.
We were able to get out of the contract based on some findings in the inspection. We were very lucky to avoid such a disastrous move at the eleventh hour.
What He Learned
His approach in life is so utterly rational, analytical, and rooted in hard data. He believed decisions and life changes could be “hacked” and optimized.
Except he found out the hard way this is not always true. Sometimes our intuition and feelings trump the logical, “looks good on paper” answer. Needless to say this was a really important lesson for him.
To this day before we make a heavy decision I ask him, “Have you checked in with yourself?”
And in fact, we were not meant to nail ourselves down in a big, expensive home. In fact we were meant to go in the opposite direction.
Case in point… February 2021 we were beyond thrilled purchasing our 30-foot RV travel trailer! While we were scared to jump into RV life, our gut told us we were on the right track. We haven’t regretted it for one minute!
Trust Your Intuition
I spent over a year being angry and overly critical about the company I worked for. He spent over a year consumed with finding the perfect house.
In both situations we could have saved all the time and energy if 1) I had trusted my intuition I needed a break from work, and 2) he had checked in with himself about whether he truly wanted a different, more expensive home.
As we finished up our conversation last week, I told my friend she didn’t have to justify wanting to take a break from work.
“You should follow your intuition. You know what you need,” I told her.
So I’m here today to give you permission to let intuition be your guide, too.
Do you trust your intuition? Have any life situations taught you a valuable lesson about your intuition? Let me know in the comments!
What’s new with us? We’re enjoying summer, and head to French Lick, Indiana soon for his company’s leadership retreat. Spouses are invited, so you’ll find me lounging and exploring.
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