Do you feel like you need to make a change in your life, but aren’t sure where to start? At some point or another, we all ask ourselves the question:
How do I change?
The desire or pull for change is overwhelming and scary. Even if you have an idea of what you want to do, connecting the dots on how to get there may feel impossible. In my experience we often feel like we need to make big, drastic changes to get where we want to be. We all know change is hard, so why do we think big, drastic changes are the answer?
What if there was a less scary, more sustainable way to change?
Enter, small life experiments. Over the course of the last year and a half we’ve experienced how small life experiments can unlock change. These experiments empowered us to make small changes that ultimately led to the big changes we wanted. Small life experiments are the building blocks we need to effect the change we want.
What Are Life Experiments?
In its shortest form, the definition of experiment is the “process of testing,” or “test(ing) or establish(ing) a hypothesis.”
When we think of life experiments, we’re testing a hypothesis (assumption, belief, guess) about what we want to do, who we want to be, what we want our life to look like, etc.
The truth is though, while we may have a strongly held belief (hypothesis) about what we want or need, we can’t know for sure if we can trust this belief until we test it. My guess is you’ve been led astray by your assumptions of what you want, what will make you happier, more fulfilled. Just like we have!
Hypotheses & Assumed Actions
Let’s take a look at some hypotheses (assumptions, beliefs, etc.) and the associated, assumed action:
| Hypothesis (assumption, desire, or belief) | Assumed Action (big, drastic step) |
| I will be more satisfied in my career in a leadership role | Apply for and only consider paid leadership roles |
| My overall happiness would increase if I worked less | Quit my job |
| I want to write a book | Start writing a book |
| Consuming dairy has negative health implications for my body | Eliminate all dairy from diet |
| We will love traveling full-time in our RV | Start full-time RVing immediately |
Notice how the assumed action for each hypothesis seems like the appropriate action, but is a big, drastic step. One could start writing a book, or eliminating dairy altogether. Just do it, right?! Maybe those actions would be successful, or maybe not. Likely, there are some real life dynamics that would hold us back from taking the big, drastic step. For example, most of us cannot just quit their job without a plan for income, benefits, etc.
Hypotheses & Life Experiments
This is where the value of small life experiments shines. Experiments allow us to test our assumptions or beliefs, instead of going all-in on something that may or may not be right for us.
The life experiments could look like:
| Hypothesis (assumption, guess, or belief) | Life Experiment (test the hypothesis) |
| I will be more satisfied in my career in a leadership role | Proactively seek out opportunities to lead projects and/or people, whether at work or in other capacities (volunteer, church, community groups, etc.) |
| My overall happiness would increase if I worked less | Test an extended break from work with a 60-day leave of absence/sabbatical |
| I want to write a book | Start a blog to get into the routine of consistently writing to see if I actually enjoy writing on a regular basis |
| Consuming dairy has negative health implications for my body | Designate a set period of time with a start and end date to eliminate all dairy from your diet and monitor any changes and how you feel |
| We will love traveling full-time in our RV | Test out longer travels in the RV, such as a month-long RV trip to see if we like it |
Testing our hypothesis through a simulation or trial run helps us take the first, smaller step to achieve what we want.
I know what you are thinking…
But, RVing for a month isn’t the same as RVing full-time. Taking a 60-day sabbatical means I still have to go back to work and I’m back to square one.
So, why not just take the bigger, more drastic step?
Life Experiments Help Us Avoid the F-Word
Let’s be honest about what typically holds us back from change, the f-word. Fear of failure.
Why don’t we just start writing the book, or eliminate all dairy once and for all?
Change is hard because we’re afraid of failure. It’s also easy to fall into all-or-nothing thinking, a common cognitive distortion where we look at situations in polarizing opposites: good or bad, black or white, success or failure. Because we see (more likely perceive) only a few extreme options, we associate a much higher level of risk with each option. We are less likely to make any change or take any action because the risks feel high due to the extreme options we see.
The result? We don’t take any action at all to avoid the risks, but stay stuck and no closer to what we want.
For sustainable change we have to lower the barrier to entry by taking steps that feel reasonable and limit the perceived, heightened risk to better manage our fear of failure. Life experiments are the small steps we need to test a belief or assumption, while keeping our perceived risk level low and decrease our fear or failure.
As a real life example, in early 2022 I felt I needed to quit my job to be happy. But I couldn’t bring myself to just quit; the perceived risk of quitting made my brain explode. Instead (after some therapy) my small life experiment was taking a 60-day leave of absence/sabbatical to see what a break from work felt like. It felt GREAT by the way. As a result of this small life experiment, I did eventually quit my successful career.
I share about our other life experiments in 2022 in this post.
Small life experiments are the answer to, “How do I change?”
More on the Fear of Failure
Some of us are more influenced by the fear of failure than others. We can all benefit from reflecting to what degree fear of failure influences our actions. As with most things, perception is everything.
Someone once asked me: What is failure? If we consult our trusty dictionary, failure is “failing to perform a duty or expected actions,” and “lack of success.” What is success? What is an expected action?
Upon reflection, I realized “failure” is a made up construct in our American culture.
Since then I try to approach new things simply as an experiment. If I make a change and I like it, great! If I make a change, like substituting cauliflower rice for regular rice, and I hate it… Well I learned that is not a viable option for me and I move on. No more cauliflower rice!
Using a personal example from above, starting a blog to see if I truly enjoy writing has a much lower and more manageable perceived risk of failure versus jumping into writing a book.
How Life Experiments Unlock Change
When we use small life experiments to test what we want in our lives, we build confidence in our actions. We are able to discover the path and additional actions we need to take to unlock the change we want. There is truly a snow-ball effect here.
The increased confidence we gain through the life experiments also demonstrates we don’t need to be so concerned with “failure.” If an experiment doesn’t work out the way we thought, the outcome is actually valuable, time-saving information that can help us clarify what we want.
Why waste time dreaming about full-time RV travel if we are miserable during a two-week RV trip? That wasn’t the case for us, but you can see the point.
We build confidence in our feelings and beliefs as we test them out, make adjustments, learn our fears are manageable, and progress faster towards what we want–whether it’s what we thought we wanted to begin with, or not!
Where Do You Want to Change?
Okay, so you had to know with this type of blog post there would be some sort of call to action.
Where do you want to make change? Think about it. My guess is you have some burning idea or gut feeling, but it feels just out of reach, too risky, or too scary.
How can you use the concept of a small life experiment to test it out?
And, please don’t get me wrong… We by no means have mastered the art of change. While we’ve used some significant life experiments over the past year and learned a ton, we’re not immune to the fears and perceived risks associated with change. Sometimes the information you discover from these experiments, such as loving longer RV travel, is scary in and of itself.
Why is it scary? You come to the realization you are the only person holding yourself back from taking the action to completely change your life.
What do you think, can small life experiments help you unlock change? I’d love to hear from you. And if you need help coming up with an idea for an experiment, reach out! I’ll try to help as best I can.
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Yes, small life experiments are the way to go! They make it a low-risk way to try new things. My life is now a whole bunch of different experiments. Some I like, some I don’t, but I’m always learning. Plus, it’s just plain fun to mix things up and experiment!
At Amazon, they have a conceptual framework I really like about decision making: there are one-way doors and two-way doors. One-way doors are big decisions that are hard to reverse if you don’t like what’s on the other side. You essentially “burn the boats” and you’re pretty much stuck with whatever it is you decided (regardless of whether the outcome was good or bad). Two-way doors are easily reversible, and it’s no big deal to undo your decision if it doesn’t pan out. You can make these decisions much faster because there is minimal downside and you don’t get trapped in the analysis paralysis fears.
Looking forward to hearing about all your experiments that lay ahead!
Thanks Stephen for your comment! I like the concept of one-way and two-way doors. When I apply that framework, I’m starting to realize how we often assume a decision is a one-way door, but more often than not it’s actually a two-way door. Two-way doors feel much less risky, similar to taking the small steps in an experiment.